I am on the 10th straight day away from my family (2 more days to go!) in one of the longest stretches yet that I have been on the road. I have been counting the days because I miss Justin and the girls.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever experienced something like our past year, but I have learned something I find interesting, and it involves counting. When you are living with some degree of uncertainty and you are mourning a change in your life you weren’t expecting, there are these strange milestones you live with in your head. You keep count (or at least, I do). I realized I would start to grow anxious and stressed as the first of each month neared because it was another month in our struggle. I could always tell you exactly how many months it had been since Justin was laid off and then later, since I was, because these monthly deadlines defined our journey to some extent.
Yesterday I realized that during this stretch I’ve been out of town, we passed the one-year mark for my layoff.
And I had missed it. How very unlike me. 🙂
I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude. This internal clock seems to have finally switched off. Thank you, Father. I think that means I’ve healed. That quietly, under the surface, the Lord has been working to release me from any pain attached to that event so that it isn’t a defining reality in our world anymore.
We have moved on. We are in a new place. Justin is working for a wonderful church. The Lord is providing for us through that and through my travel. He has given me a new vision for my future.
And He has provided. Over a year without fulltime employment in our family. We never thought we could have survived that – and yet He is faithful. In our weakness He is strong.
So I think that this anniversary is worth celebrating.
You have turned my mourning into dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11
For all of you who have prayed for us and loved us, THANK YOU. You will never know the blessing you have been. I’m highly tempted to throw a little dance party to celebrate all the Lord has done, and you are ALL invited.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5