I am on the 10th straight day away from my family (2 more days to go!) in one of the longest stretches yet that I have been on the road. I have been counting the days because I miss Justin and the girls.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever experienced something like our past year, but I have learned something I find interesting, and it involves counting. When you are living with some degree of uncertainty and you are mourning a change in your life you weren’t expecting, there are these strange milestones you live with in your head. You keep count (or at least, I do). I realized I would start to grow anxious and stressed as the first of each month neared because it was another month in our struggle. I could always tell you exactly how many months it had been since Justin was laid off and then later, since I was, because these monthly deadlines defined our journey to some extent.
Yesterday I realized that during this stretch I’ve been out of town, we passed the one-year mark for my layoff.
And I had missed it. How very unlike me. 🙂
I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude. This internal clock seems to have finally switched off. Thank you, Father. I think that means I’ve healed. That quietly, under the surface, the Lord has been working to release me from any pain attached to that event so that it isn’t a defining reality in our world anymore.
We have moved on. We are in a new place. Justin is working for a wonderful church. The Lord is providing for us through that and through my travel. He has given me a new vision for my future.
And He has provided. Over a year without fulltime employment in our family. We never thought we could have survived that – and yet He is faithful. In our weakness He is strong.
So I think that this anniversary is worth celebrating.
You have turned my mourning into dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11
For all of you who have prayed for us and loved us, THANK YOU. You will never know the blessing you have been. I’m highly tempted to throw a little dance party to celebrate all the Lord has done, and you are ALL invited.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5
Woo hoo!!! Happy to celebrate!! I just recently “missed” a painful anniversary that I never thought I could possibly forget! This was year 4 (it takes me a little longer to learn things than most people!), but I finally missed it! And I love what you said: “it isn’t a defining reality in our world anymore”. Wow! I thought it always would be! God does amazing things!
I love that. It gives evidence to Romans 8:37 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us”
Thank you for commenting Alicia! I’ve loved reconnecting with you through FB!
LOVE it! I remember a few big dates for me passing by, and afterward I realized I HADN’T realized it. That was HUGE for me, and you’re right–a sign of healing. Thrilled to hear you & Justin are doing well, though I miss your face @ Keystone. XO
We miss you guys too – so much! We’ll come pop in and visit – maybe after your family grows… and grows! So thrilled for you friend. Thank you for commenting – you girls are a treasure.
Jen, “Woo-HOOOOO!!!”, indeed! You are sooo right! (Oops! Did I get something there backward(s), forward(s), or did I turn it toward(s) another direction? ;-)) I am ***thrilled*** with you at what God’s been “up to” in your life/your lives! He is soo(o) GOOD! (and especially so, when we feel “stuck” in what *looks* like an “impossible” situation. (Which, btw, just *happen* to be His “specialities”;-))
I hope you’ll pop over when you have a moment (probably before you return home!) to read the “Sneak Peeks” posts (beginning in early January of this year, though stories of God’s provision and amazing faithfulness ‘way before “now”!). I so appreciate your writing… your honesty. Very refreshing. “As cool water to a thirsty soul…”, the Book says. Your words – and this is the “naked truth”, too! – *are* refreshing! Let’s see what God will do *next* in your life, Jen! He loves that you’re chasing hard after Him! (Ps. 42:1) – gracie;-)