As you may know from my last post – there are some things in our life that I am waiting for. And the waiting is, on one hand, very difficult. There are days where the waiting just seems to consume me all day long and I have to fight discouragement. But on the other hand – it makes me live with this sense of expectation. This sense that a new day, a new beginning, is right around the corner. And on those days – I am filled with hope.
I LOVE fall. My entire family does. My mom has always decorated her house for fall, we cook these great meals, we cozy up and watch movies together – it is just our favorite time of the year. And although it is still crazy steaming hot in Texas – I can feel that fall is almost here. The corn maze in the pumpkin patch we visit each year is growing tall – the light and shadow is shifting, the breeze is occasionally just slightly cooler. Can you feel it? Change is coming.
I had some time to snuggle with my little Rebekah and read Psalm 27 and Psalm 37 this morning – both Psalms are kind of exactly where we are in life. There is trouble – yes. There is fear and trial and danger. There are circumstances that, looked at from an entirely human perspective, are overwhelming. But predominant in both of those Psalms there is expectation. Promises from a very faithful God. And a peace in knowing that God will come through and will fulfill all of those promises.
Summer seems long. Summer is long. But one day, soon, it will be fall. The leaves will change and fall to the ground. The air will cool. There will be the smell of burning embers in the air. And our family will cuddle up and spend time together laughing and enjoying the gift of this time of year.
This road we are on is long. This season feels like it will last forever – feels like it has lasted forever. But it will change. And our God will provide all of our needs just as He has through all of the seasons before this one. He is faithful. His very nature is to take care of His children. He loves us. And He cannot go against His nature.
Psalm 27: 13 – 14
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 37: 4 – 6
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
I am convinced that, although God is a God of details and He ordains all of our steps, He is not as freaked out about where we live and what we do as we are. Yes those things are important – but nothing compared to the position of our hearts in relation to our God. And so I know, if that is true, that it is my heart’s attention that concerns Him most. And so these seasons of waiting, although crazy hard for me, drive me to Him. They drive me to breathe prayers all day long as I fight the battle with fear and discouragement. They drive me to the Word as I seek to know the next step to take. And although situationally this waiting feels so awful, positionally how incredibly good it must be for my heart. I begin to align myself to my Father. I begin to seek first His presence and His wisdom. So really, this season that seems so tough is actually so beneficial. The promise is not yet fulfilled, no. Unless it is the promise that His nearness is my good. That promise is fulfilled to overflowing during this time of waiting.
Sometimes my vision gets so clouded and it is like the weight of our circumstances forces me to my knees in a dark space and all I can concentrate on is the next step (my last post was written on one of those days). And then there are days like today where I find myself more expectant than discouraged. Days where I get a glimpse of perspective on this journey – get a glimpse of the road ahead of us – and I am filled with hope. But what I am finding is that regardless of the day I am having, the dark days on my knees or the expectant days where hope rises, I am never alone. The Lord is meeting me in my need. And I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
I have other friends who are waiting. Some for healing. Some for a partner in this life. Some for provision. Some for children. Some for direction. Some for peace. Some for fulfillment of purpose. And the same God who knows our need and who is so near in this crazy time is also near to each of them. Isaiah 40 has GREAT hope for those who believe.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isn’t that the best? Our God is good and He loves us with an everlasting, unconditional, crazy love. He knows each of us, knows what we need, and holds our futures in His great, loving hand. Today, as you wait, I am praying for you. That you would have peace and perspective. And I am praying for me – that I would trust my Father’s heart regardless of the kind of day I’m having while I wait.